Pondo-san

Call me Pondo-san.

And, if that doesn't work after a few minutes, please go ahead and smack me on the back of the head.

We've been here in Tokyo a month now and we are starting to settle in. I can actually say a few phrases in Japanese: "excuse me," "good day" (before 11 a.m.); "good day" (after 11 a.m.); "thank you" (formal), "thank you" (informal), and "I'm sorry for thanking you informally when I should have thanked you formally. Excuse me. Sorry. Good Day. Thank you. Sorry. Good Day. Sorry".

I've also invented the Sumimasen Shrug. "Sumimasen" means "excuse me." You use this when you accidentally bump into someone, if you are trying to get out of the subway or if you need attention at a restaurant. However, if you add a helpless shrug with the phrase, I have found that you can gain some sympathy while grocery shopping (my biggest challenge). "Sumimasen (with shrug)soba noodles?" "Sumimasen (with shrug) chicken?" "Sumimasen (with shrug) stain stick?" "Sumimasen (with shrug) my rock?"

Oh, yes, my rock. I love my rock. Due to the fact that I can't read or write Japanese signs, that the charming streets twist and turn, and that many of the streets still look the same to me, I've had to become vigilantely visual to find my way around. (I had thought about leaving a Hansel and Gretel bread crumb trail when I leave the apartment, but because of the hungry crows that hover and the fact that a sleeve of bread only comes with 8 slices and costs 400 Yen, I decided to find another strategy.) So, for now, I am memorizing routes by sights and smells: a faded blue punch buggy and an immobile scooter guide me to the school bus stop and back; colorful springs on a tree means the 100 Yen store (Dollar Store) is near and my rock means home is right around the corner.

"Hey," a mom I met at the bus stop said to me the other day as we both idled at a train crossing. She was in a car. I was walking. "What are you doing? Allergies?"
"Oh,no," I said. "I'm just sniffing around for the pine smell. If I can find and follow the pine smell, it will lead me home from here."
She looked stunned. "Wow," she answered. "You already figured out The Pine Smell! You're doing great!"

I wasn't sure how to answer, so I just did my kind of cute Sumimasen Shrug.