Playing the Part

I am not a professional Tokyo tour guide, but I can play the part, and in the last few years, I’ve done just that—many times. We have hosted family, friends, colleagues and even my former boss who, I must admit, was clearly impressed with my leadership skills when I successfully led him through the side streets of Shibuya (maybe I should have had him update my performance evaluation).

With visitors in tow, I have strolled through shrines. I have meditated in gardens. I have slurped noodles and shared sushi. I have been to the top of Tokyo Tower and to the bowels of Shinjuku Station. I have cruised and I have cooked. I have taken so many pictures with Hachiko that I think it’s time that I erect a statue of myself, camera in hand, in front of the famous dog.

So I was not at all anxious with our latest set of visitors. I believed I had done it all. I believed I had seen it all, too. They couldn’t spring any sightseeing request surprises on me.

“What?” I said with surprise. “You want to do what?”

“The fish market,” our visiting friends repeated. “We want to see an auction at the famous fish market.”

Previous guests had also mentioned Tsukiji fish market, but soon lost their zeal when I explained that it was a very early morning outing. These visitors, however, were serious. They told me so.

“We are serious,” they said in unison. “We really want to see the auction.”

I always aim to please, so to the auction we went.

Yes, we woke up extra early. Yes, we checked the auction times in a number of tour books and websites. Yes, we took the first train. And, yes, we were the only ones on it.

And, yes, we missed the auction.

“No!” I shouted in disbelief at the tourist who informed me that the tuna auction was over. “No! No! No! No! I can’t believe it.”

What was a tour guide to do? What was a failed tour guide to do? Of course, there was still sushi for breakfast. Of course, there was still the market to wander through. Of course, there was still the forklift frenzy to watch. But they had woken up before dawn to see bidding.

And so…

“Tour guide services for sale,” I yelled. “Expat tour guide services for sale! Do I hear ¥1,000? ¥1,000, anyone? How about ¥500? Expat tour guide services for sale….”

I am not usually a silly morning person, but I am willing to play the part.