Soy to the World

“Sumimasen (excuse me)…” a colleague of my husband’s said to me.
“Hmmmm,” I answered. I had just put a forkful of pea pods into my mouth.
CHEW. CHEW. CHEW. CHEW. CHEW.
Alright, yes, I was intensely chewing because I was nervous. Very nervous. I was the only spouse who had come to this dinner. The only spouse.
CHEW. CHEW. CHEW. CHEW. CHEW.
Second, I was intensely chewing because I was hungry. In the dim light of the restaurant, I couldn’t identify anything on the table that I liked to eat, or could successfully eat with chopsticks, except for these pea pods.
CHEW. CHEW. CHEW. CHEW. CHEW.
And, third, I was intensely chewing because I am not a good Japanese speaker. And, eating allowed me to successfully hide my lack of fluency. Instead of speaking, I smiled. Or nodded. Or arched my eyebrows. Or winked. And, continued chewing and chewing and chewing.
CHEW. CHEW. CHEW. CHEW. CHEW.
And, lastly, I was intensely chewing because, apparently, I must have put the toughest pea pods on the planet into my mouth.
CHEW. CHEW. CHEW. CHEW. CHEW.
“Sumimasen…” the colleague said to me again. “We were noticing how you eat edamame. We are curious. In Japan, we squeeze the beans into the mouth like this. We would never eat the pod.”
CHEW. CHEW. CHEW. CHEW. CHEW.
GULP.
Eda what? A WHAT? Squeeze the beans out? Don’t eat the pod? Edamame? This isn’t a pea pod? THIS ISN’T A TOUGH AND HAIRY PEA POD? No wonder I’ve been chewing this thing for hours. I was really beginning to think something was terribly wrong with my teeth.
“Hmmmm,” I answered as I quickly thought of what I should do. This is a little embarrassing. What should I do?
1. Laugh at my mistake, head to the restroom, wash out my mouth and escape out the window.
2. Tell them I am on a very unique and strict Edamame Diet.
3. Panic.

I have my integrity. I have my pride. I have my strong bicuspids. I will not be humiliated by a legume.

“Oh really,” I said. “That is very interesting because in my part of America, we chew the dickens out of these beauties. Itadakimasu.”
CHEW. CHEW. CHEW. CHEW. SWALLOW. SWALLOW AGAIN. AND A THIRD TIME.

Just for the record, edamame is a tasty treat, if eaten correctly.

Also, I will be staying home during the next company get together.