The Koban

The other day, I had a run-in with the law. Actually, it was more like my very first run into the law; well, actually, maybe it was more like a step into the local koban (police station).

"Konnichiwa," I said. "Do you understand English?"
"No," the police man answered. (Aha! Trick question! So it appears you do understand English!)

"My son found a woman's wallet over by the swings on the playground," I said in English. I put the wallet on the counter.
I pushed the wallet towards him.
He pushed paperwork towards me. Then he started to tell me something too fast! too fast! I can't keep up! OhmygoodnesssomeveryfastJapanesetoofasttoofasttoofast....

"Gomen nasai," I said (I'm sorry), "wakarimasen." (I don't understand).

I did understand some of his Japanese. I was supposed to stay in the station. I was supposed to fill out a form with the details of where I found it. But, I couldn't read the paper. And, he was clearly trying to tell me something else. Too fast! too fast!

"Mom, what are you doing?" my eight year old asked me. I decided it was time to act out the scene: my son and I walking along. My son spotting the wallet near the playground.

"Mom?" my son said.
"Weeeeee," I said as I pretended I was on a slide and the swings. "Weeeee, I love the slide and swings. Oooh, I love to climb." If only my friends in America could see me now.

The officer could see me now and he was clearly very confused. I guess I might have looked like some crazy dancer or crazy person.
My son could see me now and he was clearly embarrassed.

The officer picked up his phone.
I picked up my phone.
Apparently, it was time to play "Who could find a translator first game". The battle of the address book.
"Watashi no sensei des," I said as I gave the officer my cell phone. My sensei (Japanese teacher)is on the line.
Ding! I won! I won! I won!

After passing the cell phone back and forth, I finally understood the situation. Apparently, it's Japanese custom to give a reward to the finder. But, because this lost wallet had no cash, our reward for turning it in would be 10% of nothing....which is nothing.

"Ok desu." I said to the officer. It's all OK. I don't need a reward. I just need some butter. And, some aspirin. I think I did something to my back while pretending to climb the bars.

So this is what I learned:
1. Even after a year here, every day is an adventure.
2. It's best to know a lot of Japanese.
3. It's even better to have a Japanese speaker on speed dial.
4. I'm absolutely dreadful at charades.