Think. Think. Think.
“C’mon,” I encouraged myself in the mirror. “Think! Think! Think! You can figure this out!”
“Aren’t you an educated, clever, confident, competent woman?” I asked myself.
“Yes, I am!” I answered.
“Haven’t you persuaded your family to try new foods and eat with chopsticks?”
“Yes, I have!” I said.
“Haven’t you triumphed over train schedules? Haven’t you become proficient with the Pasmo?”
“Yes! Yes I have!” I cheered for myself.
“Haven’t you moved across the globe? Haven’t you met new friends? Haven’t you learned how to speak a new language? By golly, haven’t you had the courage and self confidence to walk around in your glory to soak in an onsen?”
“Yes, I have! Yes, I have!”
“Then,” I said to my reflection. “You can do it. You can figure out how to flush.”
No, I can’t.
Yes, it’s true. I have clearly met my match with the Japanese washlett. I believe I have tried everything and now I am simply out of ideas. Here I sit completely flustered. This is a new low.
Think! Think! Think!
Is there a wall button? To be honest, I have not had success with pressing random rest room wall buttons. Let’s just say, my first washlett experience was quite alarming. Apparently, in my apartment, the big button on the panel is not the flush button as I incorrectly assumed. It is an emergency button that summons the security team.
Think! Think! Think!
Is there a handle? Is there a sensor? No and no. I have inspected the throne area for a handle. I have waved my hand around just in case there was an automatic sensor. I have even reached around the walls for some kind of pull chain. I am stalled. I have never, ever spent so much time contemplating plumbing.
Think! Think! Think!
Could it be voice activated? I cleared my throat. “Done!” I said out loud. “Finished….Completed…Concluded….All set…Sayonara….”
Nope. It’s not voice activated.
Think. Think. Think.
Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.
What? What was that noise? What did I do? It’s a floor button! The button on the floor runs the water! You did it! You competent, confident woman!
Take that Toto. You may have intimidated me, you may have even surprised me by warming my seat, but you did not defeat me.
Now, if I could just learn how to ride my bike in high heels while holding an umbrella and cell phone while carrying groceries… now that would be a true Tokyo triumph.
